I’ve been looking so long at these pictures of you
That I almost believe that they’re real
I’ve been living so long with my pictures of you
That I almost believe that the pictures
Are all I can feel
- The Cure, Pictures of You
The smoldering intensity of Dan Sheehan - March 2018
A long time ago, in a life far, far away I carried a camera fairly frequently. Through high-school and college, I shot a lot of film. In graduate school, my research project relied heavily on underwater photographs. Immediately after leaving grad school, I stopped carrying a camera. Perhaps I was bored with it? Perhaps I couldn’t afford the film and development costs? I’m really not sure, but I didn’t pick up a camera again until I started playing with my wife’s camera at least 20 years later. By that time, technology had passed me by and what little knowledge I retained was pretty much obsolete. I fell into a pattern with my photography that was familiar and comfortable while I learned the mechanics of modern photographic equipment. Most of my photos were outdoors shots where people are secondary to the picture if they were in them at all. As I started getting more comfortable with the camera, I started branching out into “new” areas including street photography and portraiture.
What makes a picture a portrait? We all have dozens of pictures of people on our phones, but we wouldn't call them "portraits", right? I struggle with this. To me, a portrait conveys something about that person's personality. People who don't know the subject can see it, and people who do know them say "Ah, yes. That is SO him/her." I don't like people getting into my personal space, and I definitely don't like getting into theirs. Shooting good portraits requires getting right in and close with people, something I am not comfortable with. I find it easiest to do this with people I know well, and I am amazed at photographers who can shoot great portraits of someone they have just met, or don't know at all. How do they capture an image of a personality when they don't know that personality? I imagine they have to get to know them quickly, or they are just that intuitive about people.
There are no bad pictures;
that’s just how your face looks sometimes.
- Abraham Lincoln
If I were ever asked what kind of photographer I am, my immediate and flippant answer would likely be “a bad one.” If I had to answer seriously, I would probably say that I am a nature photographer, perhaps even a landscape photographer. Hiking, camping, climbing, and wandering the woods and mountains is where I feel most comfortable and where I am most likely to have my camera. Certainly most of my pictures from our year in New Zealand were of those types. I recently had reason to rethink this description of my photography.
A friend from high-school was interested in my old photo negatives. They were just going into the rubbish bin anyway, so I was happy to send them his way. Digitizing and processing the photos I sent to him, Joel breathed new life into old images. As impressed as I was with what he was able to do with 30 year-old negatives, I was equally surprised to see how many of my old photos were portraits. Some of them were posed, but most were candid. Clearly I was much more comfortable invading personal space back then.
Prior to 1989, high-school in Ontario was 5 years ... Grades 9-13. They were transitioning to 4 years (9-12) and eliminating Grade 13, but for my class you could finish in 4 or 5 years. Those of us who stayed for 5 years got two end of year formals (think "Prom") ... one in 1989 and then again in 1990. A curious result of this is that the 1989 formal combined both the Grade 12 and Grade 13 classes that year.
I have no idea who this is, but she is not too pleased ...
Whether it was on the school ski team, or just for fun, we spent a lot of time with boards strapped to our feet ...
Talisman Ski Resort, Dec 1989.
Ski team, apres ski, probably Horseshoe Valley, Jan/Feb 1990.
At the end of the fall rugby season in 1989, we had qualified for the OFSAA (Ontario Federation of Secondary Athletic Associations) provincial championships the next spring, and as a reward/pre-season training opportunity, we spent just under two weeks playing rugby in England and Wales. Each individual player was hosted by a local family, and we trained with / played against local clubs. We also had a chance to explore London, Cardiff, and a couple of castles.
Boys will be boys.
1990 was a busy year ... skiing in the winter, the tour to England and Wales, and the rugby championships in the spring. It was our final (Grade 13) year of highschool, and everyone seemed to have big plans when the summer was over. We had one last opportunity to all be together in June for our Graduation Formal. Held in a hotel in downtown Toronto, we all "pre-loaded" at a friend’s place before heading downtown.
I recently saw some current photos of these guys. The men they have become look much the same as the boys they were.
All of the photos above were shot on film with a manual camera. The camera itself could support an autofocus lens, but I didn't have one until I traded my manual fixed lens for an autofocus zoom much later. It surprises me sometimes how well many of the photos turned out. You would shoot and hope. Often the results weren't developed and printed until several weeks later. It was always a great surprise to find one or two "keepers" from roll of 24 or 36. As I mentioned earlier, not long after these photos were taken, I put down my camera for 20+ years. Once I started shooting in digital, the instant feedback and unlimited memory was a game changer. It does mean that I am a much more lazy, and much less cautious, photographer; but it also allows me to make instant corrections and not lose the moment.
Kari hates when Little H makes faces for the camera. I did, too ... until I decided that if portraiture is about capturing a person's personality, then these are perfect portraits of my goofy daughter.
Shooting portraits of those you know and love is much easier than shooting strangers.
Kids will be kids.
Family ...
... and Friends
So things come full circle. I have been working to improve my ability to shoot portraits and I am drawing inspiration from my past work. As I become more comfortable shooting in tight with family and friends, my next step will be to find that same comfort level with strangers. I just need to tap into that lost confidence and abandon of youth ...
Can a selfie be a portrait ???
